BeachcomberFX

Category: Sunday@thePub

  • Blessed are…

    Blessed are…

    Hi folks, I hope you are all good, the forecast isn’t great for Sunday so we will be meeting online at 7.00pm.

    As i write this weeks reflection I have to say that I am running out of steam… the journey of the last fourteen months is starting to take its toll.

    We’ve also had the ongoing anxiety about whether our present restrictions were going be lifted or not, and the sense that this pesky delta variant seems to be causing concern.

    There is no doubt we are going to be living with uncertainty and a heightened sense of unease for a long while yet.

    As I was pondering on this I was in a meeting today and as part of the devotions we looked at Nadia Bolz-Weber modern day twist on the ‘blessed are those…’

    It takes in something of our present situation…

    Check it out…

    So some questions

    What’s been the best thing about the last week?

    Who would you like to add in (blessed are…)?

    Which phrase resonates most with you at the moment, or which one did you need to hear and feel that sense of blessing?

    Which phrase made you think of a particular person or situation you hope to see a blessing on?

    Which phrase did you struggle to connect with or would find most difficult to say? Maybe explore a little deeper why it’s a struggle?

    Peace, Rob

  • Change

    Change

    Hi folks,

    I hope you are well. This week we will be meeting in gardens at 7.00pm – if you want to be part of these gatherings or if you can host please comment below or send me a message! Groups will be allocated on Sunday morning.

    This week we want to build on Karen’s reflections about change. Over the last few years it has been wonderful to share the leadership of BFX with some awesome people. A few weeks ago I gave space for those who have been part of the team to step back if they felt they needed a break from the responsibility of leadership. After some consideration, Angela and Glenn have decided to step back, they have lots going on with their work at the moment and life is just hectic. I am soo thankful to them for the work they have put in over the last few years. Their wisdom and support have been invaluable to me and the rest of the team.

    As a leadership team we have thought and prayed about the next steps in leadership. We are pleased to say that Sue Hutchinson has agreed to join the team. I worked with Sue many years ago when we were both in youth work so it feels like we have come full circle. So the team is now David, Naomi, Pauline, Sue, Karen and myself.

    Change is never easy and this year we have experienced so many changes, many of which are still in progress. In my other role, everything is changing. Sunday service, pastoral care, small groups… it’s really exhausting! At BFX we have also had to change the way we do things and we have added new threads to our work, like BFXCreative, short scavenger walks, and I suspect there will be more change to come as we emerge from these last fourteen months.

    When I think about change I wonder about those early disciples after Jesus had died, and after the resurrection, and then as they gathered in that upper room, these were moments of significant change for them and for the world.

    My faith journey has changed over the years as well, long gone are the days when I thought I had everything nailed down and I was sure what it meant to follow Jesus. These days I’m happy to live with the questions I can’t answer and sit comfortably with doubt, its like drinking a great pint!

    I wonder what changes you have experienced over this last year and over your lifetime! I’m sure there are many of you that even wondered if you would come out of the last year alive!

    As we move into this next period, life is likely to feel chaotic and even scary at times. I’m thankful for you as a community, you have kept me going and you have kept each other going! Well done!!

    We still have a way to go yet and so can I encourage you to keep walking with each other, keep looking out for each other. And let’s be gracious with each other in the next season of emerging change.

    If you are able to join us for the picnic on the 12th June, it would be great to see you especially if you have found it hard to remain connected over the last few months.

    So, some questions.

    What’s been the biggest personal change in your lifetime?

    What event over the last year has challenged you the most?

    What has been the hardest thing to adapt to this last year?

    What has been the highlight of this last year? (if you have one)

    What stories of change in the bible resonate with you?

    What are you anxious about as we emerge from this last year?

    Peace, Rob

  • Collector

    Collector

    Collector

    Our final BFX focus is that of Collector. The words we have for this are as follows.

    WE WERE ALL CREATED

    SO WE CREATE

    We live in a world that was created for us.

    So we make cake and beer, paint and knit, and draw lines in the sand.

    We also put right, by picking up, recycling and seeking to look after the world we live in.

    Some of you will have joined us at our recent BFX Creative events. We have held three so far (next is in June). These were formed during lockdown and have been a great place to explore creativity. 

    Now I know some people don’t think they are creative. That drawing, singing or writing just isn’t their strong point. But creativity is more than being able to create art. The definition for creativity is that you create something! Anything!

    The most common understanding of creativity is in the artistic sense. Creativity though is how we solve problems, how we transform our neighbourhoods, how we change the world we live in. We use creative to think of new ideas and new ways forward. 

    As BFX we will continue to encourage us all to be creative. For some that will be in an artistic scenes but for all of us it will be looking to think in new ways about the world we live in. 

    1. creative challenge 
    2. What is the best thing you have ever made?
    3. Are you an artistic creative an idea creative or a bit of both.
    4. What issue in the world do you think we need to solve in creative ways?
  • Lockdown Pilgrimage

    Lockdown Pilgrimage

    HI folks, how you doing? We will see how the weather pans out before deciding if we are meeting in gardens or on zoom, but if you are up for meeting in gardens please comment below.
    We are on the cusp of some big changes as a society as the easing of lockdown is ramped up again. I wonder how you feel about that? However you feel, please do look after yourselves and each other as this could be a tough process for many.
    As I was considering the easing of lockdown and what we should discuss this week, I was scrolling through twitter and came across a tweet that made me sit up. It was an encouragement to check out Sheridan Voyseys Pause for Thought on Radio 2. I had a listen.
    It was about pilgrimage. We have discussed this a few time over the years, but it struck me as I was listening that the releasing of lockdown gives us the chance to reflect on pilgrimage a little differently.
    A couple of weeks back Karen and I went to Harrogate to see my mum. It was the first time we’d seen her since September. We drove down roads we had not traveled in months and it felt like a pilgrimage. While in Harrogate we spent a bit of time with friends and going for a walk with them and with mum. Once again, we walked and visited places I had been before, but we also went on new walks and new paths that I had never been on before. It was all beautiful!
    As I reflect on it now there were some thin places where there were moments of deep connection and joy. There were moments of spiritual connection: watching my mum laugh, and looking her in the eye, seeing a mate who had struggled with his mental health early in lockdown now looking well and present, another friend who had to face tough decisions at work and walking paths near my mums house that I have trod for years. Remembering and connecting again with the stillness of nature. Sharing food with friends an act of communion. As I write my heart is full!
    What if as lockdown eases we consider the paths and roads we have traveled before as a pilgrimage? What if you stopped more regularly as you drove or walked and took in the sights and sounds? What if you went to places you had been before all this started and took a moment to take it all in? To stop!
    The easing of lockdown gives us the chance to re-set. Maybe even to try and not fill up our diary as much as we had before, to go steady with ourselves and with others as well. We are not all in the same place, many folks have changed over the last year, some of us feel more vulnerable and we may need to learn to interact again.
    Yesterday Karen and I went to look at some carpets but the shop was closed. Instead we went to our local pub for a tea time beer, spontaneously… It was lovely. We met some guys who sat opposite us and they clearly wanted to talk, and so did I. I was in the mood to interact with strangers and it felt good. We both came away smiling but also exhausted! I realised it’s going to take time to adjust.
    So as you leave this next stage of lockdown, embrace the pilgrimage! Go steady, stop and take it in, stop where you can and meet people, don’t rush, rest well when its time to put your feet up.
     
    Some questions:
    Over recent few years where have you visited the most and why? Have you been there in the last 14 months?
    Where are you most looking forward to going?
    Who are you most looking forward to seeing that isn’t a family member?
    What part of this blog struck you the most?
    How can you make the easing of lockdown become a pilgrimage?
     
    Peace, Rob
  • Family

    Family

    “You can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family.” I wonder what would happen if we could choose our own family?! Life might be a lot simpler… but I think overall something important would be lost. When I think of family, many words spring to mind but right now I just want to focus on 2 of them…

    1. BELONGING

    Recently my dad who is nearing 70 years old was able to make contact with his sister for the very first time. Having grown up in care and with foster parents he has always had big questions about his own family background and in recent years, and with the help of a DNA ancestry website he has been able to find out a lot more about some of his blood relatives. Last week he received a message from a woman who it turns out is his sister and since then they have been in regular contact finding out all about each other. It has been wonderful to witness and one of the main things that comes across in both their correspondence has been a shared desire for finding a blood relative – a family unit to “belong” to, which had been missing all their lives. Whilst families come in all shapes, sizes and variations, the one thing that seems to define a family is this idea of “belonging’. What is important isn’t actually the blood we share, but the bond that holds us together – even when we don’t like one another. There is a sense of loyalty to the family unit that doesn’t exist in the wider world. Friendships come and go – the good ones last. When friends become close we use the phrase “they’re like family” – implying that sense of a deeper, long-lasting connection; sticking together when things get tough; sacrificial and costly love.

    2. COMPLICATED

    I’m yet to meet someone who wouldn’t describe some aspect of their family as “complicated”. (Another word that springs to mind is “messy”!) So why is this? I wouldn’t describe my relationships with my work colleagues as messy or complicated… I think it has something to do with being real. At work, or even with friends we usually present a front, whether it be because we’re being professional, or just because we make the extra effort with people when we socialise. During lockdown we were starved of those interactions, and whilst I missed seeing people, I realised that the benefit of being with family ALL the time is that you can be 100% real all the time – no need to worry about how we appear, either aesthetically or in our behaviour. There’s no judgement with family, we just accept each other, warts and all. The downside of this, of course, is that we often see the worst sides of each other. Tensions rise because we don’t hold our tongues and we allow ourselves to say hurtful things we wouldn’t dream of saying to friends. We know that for the most part, family members forgive and forget (not always I realise), because we have to. The family bond is strong, we can’t just walk away from it easily. 

    So where am I going with all this, you ask? I’m not really sure myself except that I’m realising more and more the importance of family, in whatever context it comes. I don’t think God designed us to live and exist in solidarity – family units are important, they make sure everyone is cared for and we all have a place to “belong”. I think if we could all choose our families eventually things would still end up being complicated and messy, as we would realise that in order to truly belong we must feel accepted for who we are and equally to accept others for who they are. Friendship is easy – to be in relationship with people who share our interests and opinions. Family is hard – it requires us to love people at their worst, as God loves us, “God shows his love for us in that, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

    Questions:

    1. If you could choose any famous person to be an honorary family member, who would it be and what relation would they be to you?
    1. If you could be part of any fictional family, which would it be and why?
    1. What does “family” mean to you?

    4. How has being in lockdown affected your relationship with your family? (both those you live with and extended)

    5. How should we as “church”/ BFX community relate to one another and with others? Are we a “family”? Should we be and if so, what should that look like?

  • Us and Them

    Us and Them

    Hi folks, I hope you are good! Keep your eyes out over the next couple of days about if we are meeting in gardens or on Zoom, or both!! This weeks blog comes from 

    Rachel…. THANKS!!
    US & THEM
    “Us and them” thinking is a shorthand way of thinking about people. There are people “like us” and then there is “them” – the people who are “not like us.” This kind of thinking is everywhere.
    Sometimes it is playful. There are sports rivalries. There are ‘Northerners’ and ‘Southerners.’ There are ‘Geordies’ and ‘everyone else’! All of these categorisations play with the idea of a group we call “us” and a group we call “them.” Being “us” is clearly superior!
    That’s all harmless but beyond a bit of teasing, “us and them” thinking is constantly – and invisibly – used as the justification for treating people in a way that we would never consider right if they were treating us that way. The argument – rarely spoken but relentlessly implied – is that although it would be wrong, undignified or offensive to treat “people like us” a certain way, it’s OK to treat “people like them” the exact same way because they are “not like us.”
    We’ve probably heard about this in the context of war. To be effective at killing the enemy, soldiers have to be taught to see the enemy as something other than an ordinary person. We’ve seen it in politics – the demonisation of another group that justifies treating them inhumanely. We’ve had too many opportunities to compare police brutality against Black people and other people of colour with the way the same state polices “people like us.” Many of us witnessed the enormous outpouring of support for Syrian refugees when the image of Alan Kurdi was published and served as a wake up call that “Oh my goodness, refugees are people like us!”
    These are easy examples to condemn; what is harder to see is the ways we all think in ‘us and them’ terms everyday. In fact, the thing that really blows my mind is how often we think that treating them in a way that I would personally never tolerate is actually heroic!
    Let me give you an example. We are godparents to three children who are disabled, or have a disabled sibling, or both. This has been an eye-opener to me as I see how being visibly disabled can get you put into “them” categories pretty quickly. Sometimes this is people being mean or just thoughtless, but more often, in my experience, it is people being pitying and patronising. These “kind” strangers treat our amazing godkids as lesser humans and they then go away feeling smug about how kind they are.
    A lady I follow on Instagram who uses a wheelchair, wrote this about this dynamic, saying:

    “Can we stop praising people for interacting with disabled people? Stop praising kids for playing with disabled kids. Stop praising teens for asking a disabled teen to prom. What does that actually say about how society views disability? It’s heroic to be kind to us. But why though? Nondisabled people – imagine a time you were asked on a date or a friend asked you to go somewhere. Then imagine this made the papers and Facebook, with everyone hailing your mate/date as a hero for doing it. How’s ya self esteem feeling? Imagine ya kid makes a new mate then suddenly the Mum of said kid is making a post all about how kind and wonderful her kid is for playing with your kid?!”

    I think that is a classic example of “us” and “them” thinking that gets celebrated. ‘Us and them’ thinking is not about difference; it’s about superiority. Difference is beautiful. Difference that comes with a sense of superiority is destructive. ‘Us and them’ thinking is not being generous or charitable either. Generosity is beautiful. Generosity that comes with entitlement to have ‘power over’ other people is destructive.
    I think the more valuable thing we can do to combat us and them thinking is to dig deeper into why we think it’s OK not to do unto others as we would like them to do unto us (if we were in the same situation). We probably can’t help having some us and them thinking; we are so surrounded by it, it’s almost instinctive. But when we start thinking about other people as a ‘them,’ it’s seems to be almost inevitable that we start to see them as lesser too, imbuing them with less of the same dignity, humanity and power that we give ourselves. We can catch ourselves, and ask a challenging question: if the roles were reversed, would this honestly still be OK with me?
    Questions:
    Is there a playful, harmless version of ‘us and them’ thinking that you identify with? (sports teams, clubs, school loyalties, regional ties etc.)
    Where do you see ‘us and them’ thinking in our everyday lives?
    Is ‘us and them’ thinking built into the heart of Christianity? Children of Israel/everyone else. Jews/Gentiles. Believers/unbelievers. Is some sense of God-given superiority built into those concepts?
    Have you ever been on the receiving end of ‘us and them’ thinking? How did being treated like a ‘them’ make you feel?
    How can we combat ‘us and them’ thinking in ourselves and in society?
    Peace, Rob.
  • Gather

    Gather

    EXPLORING TOGETHER WHAT IT MEANS TO EXPERIENCE GOD
    We want to experience God in ways that are authentic to us.
    We come together and experiment with worship both old and new.
    We seek to experience moments of meaning in the ordinary.
    Over the past few months we have been looking at our BFX foundations. There are four altogether and this week we are looking at Gather : Worship Together. The words at the top of this post go alongside this word as a brief explanation of what it means and what it is about. I am going to try and avoid the word worship throughout the rest of this as it often comes with baggage and for many people that can get in the way. At some point you may want to take a look at the website and check the Gather tab and the work of the people stored there.
    For me the important words in this are gather, explore/experiment, experience, authentic and ordinary. I will briefly describe why and then we can get stuck into questions.
    Gather – It is about people coming together. Maybe to a particular place or at a particular time. In person or online. To gather together with others is how we build community and connection.
    Explore/experiment – Slightly different words but with similar meanings. When you explore you are going into the unknown. There is no map, or if there is the thing you are looking for isn’t marked on it. The same goes for experiment. You are testing something, trying something out you haven’t done before. Both of these have the possibility of success of finding what you are looking for or discovering something new. They both also have the possibility of not finding that which was sought or the experiment not quite working. Yet you have still experienced the process.
    Experience – What you feel, see, taste, smell, think, hear and sense. These things happen all the time but sometimes taking the time to acknowledge these opens us up to something much bigger than ourselves.
    Authentic – What we do has to be true to who we are. The words we use need to have meaning. The actions or signs we perform have to be relevant. There are ancient ways of doing things and there are new ways. It is about finding those ways that are honest and reflect those gathered instead of those inherited by others.
    Ordinary – It isn’t about always chasing the mountain top experience. We can always try and replicate that moment when we experienced something amazing, but it often disappoints. Seeking to experience something of God when we are walking the dog or on the metro to work or sat watching TV. In those moments we can be surprised by what we find.
    Questions
    • What was the last gathering you went to with over 50 people present?
    • Which word in the first bit struck you? Why?
    • What makes a gathering authentic for you?
    • Have you ever experienced God in a place you didn’t expect? Where/when was it?
  • People of Faith

    People of Faith

    Hi folks, I hope you are well, we will continue to monitor the guidance as to what we do on a Sunday evening. We think it’s probably still too cold to meet in gardens, so we will be meeting on zoom again. If you don’t normally get the link for Sunday nights but want to join is, then please do let me know.
    This week our blog is written by John Morley.
     
    People of faith
    A few months ago I was going to write a blog on the sacred texts but struggled to find an angle from which to come at this tricky topic. 
    My own understanding has moved significantly in recent years from ‘we have the truth they don’t’ to ‘we have truth and I suspect they do too’.
     
    Since agreeing to write a blog I’ve been reading a new Brian McLaren book called Faith after doubt. This gave me the idea to write about Christian’s relationships with those of other faiths rather than using sacred texts as my starting point.
    I persevered through the first half of McLaren’s new book thinking ‘well you wrote all that 10 years ago’. It says that a growing faith moves through stages, from certainty to complexity to perplexity and finally to harmony, with doubt being the thing that helps us keep growing.
    Anyway, in case Brian reads our blogs, the last chapters of the book really made me sit-up. It was also well worth the recap. I’d highly recommend the book. 
    And now it’s me who’s taken ages to get to the point. Getting back to relationships between the different faiths. I confess to using someone else’s ideas rather than my own for this discussion on interfaith. I admit to not being very well read or sorted in my thinking but I am exploring. Below are some quotes from the Brian McLaren book that hopefully provides us with some thoughts to reflect on:
     
     ‘Are you a believer whose beliefs put you in competition and conflict with people of differing beliefs, or are you a person of faith whose faith moves you towards the others with love? That phrase I just used, person of faith, in one sense makes a simple generalisation. It serves as a description that makes room for Christians, Muslims, Jews and so on. But I am coming to see that person of faith is not just a generalisation. It is also a differentiation, in contrast to a person of beliefs. It reflects a shared desire among people in all these diverse traditions to be identified not by lists of beliefs that exclude one another but by ‘something deeper, by faith in a universal, non-discriminatory love that calls us all together.’
    ‘This emphasis on love isn’t unique to the Christian Scriptures, of course. When the Torah repeatedly calls for compassionate treatment of aliens, refugees, widows, orphans, the poor, and the vulnerable, it calls Jews to make love central. The prophet Hosea echoes this emphasis when he proclaims the word of the Lord (6:6): ‘I desire compassion, not sacrifice’. The other prophets make similar statements in passage after passage (see Isaiah 1 and 58, or Micah 6, for example). When the Quran says that no one is a believer until they desire for their brother or sister what they desire for themselves, and that God made us different so that we would seek to understand and know one another, it is calling on humanity to put love first. When the gurus of Sikhism say to value others as you value yourself, and to avoid creating enmity with anyone because God is within everyone, when Taoists say to regard your neighbour’s gain or loss as your own, when Buddhists and Hindus say do not hurt others in ways you would find hurtful, and when secular humanists advocate the principle of reciprocity, they are calling on humanity to put love first’
    (Faith after doubt pp126-127)
     
    A final thought, I asked myself how Jesus tackled other religions? I thought of the good Samaritan. Maybe if Jesus were to tell this parable in our context instead of Samaritan he might say Muslim. I think he probably would.
     
    So now some questions:
     
    Are you a list maker or do you go with the flow?
     
    Is faith more about love than beliefs, what are your thoughts? 
     
    Do beliefs put us in competition and conflict with other faiths? If so how?  
     
    What personal experiences have helped you and your understanding and relationships with other people of faith? 
     
    What do you think of this quote: ’Faith in a universal, non-discriminatory love that calls us all together’. 
     
    Should we, can we and if so how do we engage with those of other faiths more?
  • Hope in difficult times.

    Hope in difficult times.

    Hi folks I hope you are doing ok? This week our blog is written by Noreen, we will be meeting on zoom on sunday night at 8.00pm if you don’t normally join us, but would like to then send me a message.
     
    We’ve been through and continue to journey through difficult times. In February 2020 at the Sunday@thepub weekend near Once Brewed, we shared dreams and hopes for the future. Did any of those happen I wonder, or did the pandemic mean they ceased to happen? However, as with anything buried, it could be possible to dig up those hopes and dreams and begin to resurrect them in the new future. But will those hopes and dreams have changed?
    A few weeks ago, Phil and I went for a walk at Newburn. This was the first time since November that we’d ventured out of our ‘local area’ but we reasoned that Newburn would likely be less crowded than the coast. So it proved. Walking along the riverbank it seemed that Nature was renewed. Not quite in the way referred to in Revelation 21 (a new Heaven and a new Earth) or 2 Corinthians 5 (The old has gone, the new is here) but more that what we were seeing was part of a continuum, more Ecclesiastes 3 (to everything there is a season). So, as we’ve passed through this pandemic many of us will have experienced a time to weep, to mourn. Some will also have experienced a time of death—of relatives and friends, which will have been distressing. Undoubtedly this time has been difficult, but Ecclesiastes also talks of times when we will dance, laugh and build. Things move on, and in my experience this is driven by hope.
    Shortly after our walk I wrote this prose poem on that theme.
    Along the rutted river path the snowdrops appeared at intervals like ghosts in a pantomime—waving. The just-birthed blooms shape-shifted as the wind blew, and our viewpoint changed. The bright sun crafted shadows, making the ground look like hair being laid out and combed among the whiteness. The bare trees stood like sentries, while the river whispered our way. Soon, it said. Soon.
    I felt that all around us there were hopeful signs that the world was unlocking, and that the long winter would soon be coming to an end.
    In ‘Surprised by Hope’ Bishop Tom Wright writes, ‘What I am proposing is that the New Testament image of the future hope of the whole cosmos, grounded in the resurrection of Jesus, gives as coherent a picture as we need or could have of the future that is promised to the whole world, a future in which, under the sovereign and wise rule of the creator God, decay and death will be done away and a new creation born to which the present one will stand as mother to child.’ He writes about the ‘birth pangs’ necessary for this to come about, and that he feels this transition will not be easy and will also be painful.
    St Paul in 1 Corinthians, verses 16-17 writes, ‘Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.’
    The article (below) reminds us that even in the worst of times (and what could truly be worse than enduring life in a concentration camp?) there is hope.
    British Lieutenant Colonel Mervin W. Gonin, commander of the 11th Light Field Ambulance, R.A.M.C. was among the first British soldiers to liberate Bergen-Belsen in 1945. In his diary, he described that time, and how initially he felt angry that a consignment of lipstick had been sent to the camp.
    “It was shortly after the British Red Cross arrived, though it may have no connection, that a very large quantity of lipstick arrived. This was not at all what we men wanted. We were screaming for hundreds and thousands of other things and I don’t know who asked for lipstick. I wish so much that I could discover who did it. It was the action of genius, sheer unadulterated brilliance. I believe nothing did more for these internees than the lipstick. Women lay in bed with no sheets and no nightie but with scarlet red lips. You saw them wandering around about with nothing but a blanket over their shoulders, but with scarlet red lips. I saw a woman dead on the post mortem table and clutched in her hand was a piece of lipstick. At last someone had done something to make them individuals again. They were someone, no longer merely the number tatooed on their arm. At last they could take an interest in their appearance. That lipstick started to give them back their humanity.”
    So, providing lipstick not only meant that the women became renewed in themselves, but gave them hope for a better future. It reminded them of what they had been, but also what they could be again.
    Louise (now Baroness) Casey, the former Homelessness advisor, has talked on Radio 4s Desert Island Discs about the person who gave her hope at a time when her life was troubled. A nun at her school in Hampshire, Sister Ita wrote her a note one Christmas to say that Louise had a future, she had a gift to give, and she was worthy. She kept it for a long time, taking it out at times when things were tough. Louise was quoted on the programme as saying, ‘People like sister Ita and others have the gift of giving a shaft of light and a shaft of love, and that can just make someone keep going.’
    So, as well as having hope ourselves, it’s a gift we can give to others.
     
    Questions
    Hope or optimism? What do you feel is the difference?
    What event during 2020 gave you hope?
    What was your worse moment of 2020 and how did it make you feel?
    Who/what helped you get through the worse moments?
    Do you feel you have ever given another person hope?
    Was there anything you learned about living through a pandemic, and how could you use this in your life going forward from here?
  • Self-Care

    Self-Care

    We are meeting at 8pm on Zoom this week and if you want to join us please message me and I will send the link (Rob Wylie is resting!). This week Sue Hutchinson Has written our blog so take a read and see you Sunday.

    Self care is trendy, modern and ‘everyone is doing it now a days’ is the concept. On Instargram alone there are over 18 millon posts with #selfcare. In 2019, it was estimated that the health and beauty industry will be worth £26.7 billion in 2022. The majority of self care is aimed at women but there is an increase of men taking to self care. And if you google ‘self care in a pandemic’ the search will find 794,000,000 results.

    The popularity of self-care has had a positive impact encouraging more people to be open, honest and talk about mental health and state of being (www.dazeddigital.com).

    Self care can range from physical, emotional, social, spiritual, personal, space, financial and work, to name a few. Self care is seen as a medical necessary, luxury, self-indulgent, political and an individual preference. Nicole Stamp (2019), in her blog ‘The revolutionary origins of self-care’ and BBC4 (2020) ‘The radical history of self-care’ gives a insight to the history:

    1950s – to allow institutionalised patients practice physical independence and self-worth through exercise and personal grooming, the term self care was created.

    1960s – First responders experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) were encouraged in three areas for self care, physical: good diet, sleep and proactive action regarding medical care, emotional: journaling and self reflection and spiritual: meditation, actively seeking spiritual community and enjoying nature. Women started to take back their own bodily health and strength.

    1970s – Self care come to the for front with the Black Panther Party as ‘a means for all Black citizens to stay resilient while experiencing the repeated injuries of systemic, interpersonal and medical racism’. It was the Black Panthers who created free community health care clinics and in 1972 campaigned to have not only they illnesses treated such as sickle cell but also to develop preventive medical programs for survival. The Black Panthers understanding of how oppression affected health has now been demonstrated by science.

    1980s – Audre Lorde, self-described as ‘Black, lesbian, mother, warrior poet’ (wikipedia), living with cancer, become influential within self-care writing ‘I must not surrender my body to others unless I completely understand and agree with what they think should be done to it, I’ve got to look at all the options carefully, even the ones I find distasteful.” And in her 1988 book ‘A burst of light’ she writes “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is a self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare”.
    Andre Spicer (2019) writes, that which was once radical is now being stripped of its politics to make more pleasant to mass market. What was supposed to be an invitation to collective survival has become another form of individualism, another word for ‘me time’, an excuse to get out of any commitment.

    And she is right, self-care can be used as an excuse to not engage, participate, or be involved and I have used this on occasion where what I wanted was to be left alone, undisturbed, and not have to make the effort or give the energy to engage, participate and be involved. In other words, to stay in my comfortable place. What I am say is that I can put my hand on my heart and say that in these times it was more to do with ‘I just don’t want to’ more than to do with I need to protect/care for me. What experiences, conversations, connections, and opportunities have I missed by doing this as Andre expresses.

    And here is where I find myself in an awaking of the power of and for self-care. While I must at times insure to make time and practice self-care for my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health and feel no shame or guilt for doing so. I must also be aware that at times my reasoning for ‘self-care’ is more to do with comfort rather than care. And I must ensure my practice of self-care does not lead to “becoming increasingly isolated or enjoying less and less nurturing human connection intensifying loneliness and mental illness (Nicole Stamp 2019)”. We will give her the benefit she did not know we would all be in a worldwide pandemic a year later. However, she is right, even in the pandemic it has been even more important to stay connected wherever possible and yet the fight to do so has left many tired, weary, and needing to practice self-care.

    And her is my finial thought: Reflecting on my life I can see that I got self-care wrong is many ways. My early years I did not wanted to practice self-care as this meant facing things I did not what to face, namely me. I then give time to practice self-care for my physical health and lost weight, however still not dealing with my mental health and gained the weight back. In the past five or so I have had no choice but to deal with my mental health and this had led me here. A place where I will very happily make time and practice self-care, acknowledge at times I can get comfortable in this and my own company which can become unhealthy. I also need to practice self-care as part of a collective, to help raise the challenge to the injustice, oppression, stress, and anxiety within the world, to raise love, hope, mercy and grace just as Jesus did; he took time out with or without his disciples, and he led the collective to love, challenge and change the world too.

    What is your ‘guilty pleasure’ to watch on TV?
    What is your perspective on self-care?
    Do you practice self-care? If so how?
    What are your thoughts about self-care being part of a collective?
    What do you think God makes of self-care?

    References:
    Nicole Stamp (2019) The revolutionary origins of self-care,
    https://locallove.ca/issues/the-revolutionary-origins-of-self-care/#.YEFkzWj7RPY

    Andre Spicer (2019) ‘Self-care’: How the radical feminist idea was stripped of politics for mass market, The Guardian.
    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/aug/21/self-care-radical-feminist-idea-mass-market

    ‘Why the commodification of self-care might actually be a good idea’.
    https://www.dazeddigital.com/beauty/soul/article/44463/1/commodification-self-care-good-thing