Hi folks, i hope you are well, this week we are meeting at 8.00pm in the upstairs room overlooking the bay at the Crescent Club. This week we continue to think about the saints of old and i’m thankful to Noreen for writing this for us.
I’ve recently been researching the life of John Wesley, the founder of the Methodist church (though is only existed after his death) who was undoubtedly a great Christian leader and evangelist. I had assumed that because he was such a busy man that he had remained single, particularly as he preached that ‘the single life is a gift of God’ and deterred his preacher colleagues from marrying. However in my research I discovered that in 1751 when aged 48 and opposed by his brother Charles, he married to a widow with five children! Her name was Mary (known as Mollie) Vazeille and although you can find information on Mary online, within the Methodist Church she seems to have been airbrushed from history.
There may be good reason for this. Early in the marriage, Mary began to create problems and division. Because of John’s long absences preaching all over Britain and beyond, and because of his spiritual counselling of women, Mary felt she was being sidelined and neglected. She was also jealous of the attention that John gave to women in the congregations he visited. If she hoped to be recognised as John’s wife for posterity this was unlikely. In John’s famous journal, his wedding isn’t even mentioned, even though John was staying at Mary’s house at the time, having injured himself falling on an icy path. As their marriage progressed, it must have hurt Mary that there was precious little mention of her as his wife in Wesley’s correspondence (which of course she read, as John had given his permission for her to do so, perhaps unwisely!).
Mary did accompany John on some of his preaching journeys, particularly with her daughter Jane. As an aside, Jane is mentioned—as well as John–in a plaque at St Andrew’s church, Newcastle as Jane married local preacher, John Smith and they worshipped at St Andrew’s.
In the early years of their marriage it became clear to Mary that John was not going to change. His evangelism for the kingdom, and his preaching duties around the country would always come before her. However, she became suspicious that this was not the only reason John was travelling around. Sometimes Mary set out after John had departed to check up on him! Although John had given permission for Mary to open his letters in his absence, she didn’t help her cause by occasionally rewriting them! She also passed the rewritten copies onto John’s critics, and occasionally publishers. That can’t have gone down well with John, who I feel was at heart probably a humble and private person.
As time went on they led separate lives, though they did have some uneasy truces. John appeared to get on well with Jane and the rest of the Vazeille family. He also had an agreement drawn up that he would not touch Mary’s inheritance from her late husband, nor she be responsible for any of his debts. However, there were several occasions when Mary was an embarrassment to John. One was witnessed by John Hampson who came into a room unexpectedly, and found Mary dragging John around on the floor by his hair! In another, during the Methodist Convention of 1757 the housekeeper at Bristol, Sarah Ryan (whom Mary detested) was serving dinner when Mary announced, ‘The whore who is serving you has three husbands!’ Certainly that would liven up a Methodist Conference these days!
So, my reading of the Wesley marriage is that there were faults on both sides—jealousy and scheming on Mary’s part; excluding Mary from the important parts of his life, and being naïve in his relations with women on John’s. Before Mary there had also been women that John had formed relationships with but these did not progress to marriage, though at least two were headed that way until John got cold feet (and Charles had his say). So, although John is a revered figure in the Methodist church and beyond, and was a man of exceptional gifts, particularly for preaching; someone who challenged authority by preaching to those on the lowest rungs of society, and someone who as we know left a lasting legacy not just in Britain but in the world. Nevertheless, he was a man with feet of clay.
- Which people in the public eye have you admired then were very disappointed by?
- Have you ever felt a work colleague was treating another colleague in an unprofessional manner? Did you say anything/act on your concerns?
- Have you ever counselled anyone/been counselled and felt uncomfortable at the way the sessions were proceeding?
- Have you ever felt unappreciated either in the workplace or at home? Did you make your feelings known and was it resolved?
- Have you (or someone you know) ever misrepresented/misquoted something another person has said in order to make yourself (or the someone you know) look good?
- Theresa May famously said that the naughtiest thing she ever did was run through a field of corn. What’s the naughtiest thing you’ve ever done, that you’ll admit to?
Peace
This post is written by one of our many friends. At BeachcomberFX we love to hear what others have to say and are always on the lookout for people who want to share their thoughts or stories with us.
