Hi folks, I hope you are ok and that you are having a good weekend! This week’s blog is written by Sue and it introduces us to our new theme… We are putting a call out to you to write us a blog. We are looking for people to write a blog based around either a short story, a song, a movie, piece of art, something in nature… that you love or that means something to you. In the blog you could reflect on some of what you love/like about it… think about some of the challenges that you find within it, ponder on how it makes you feel, what inspires you about it. You could talk about some of the themes that it generates for you. Don’t worry about the questions as we will put those together based on what you write. If you have a particular question you want to ask then let us know.
If you are interested in taking part could you let Sue know and we will give you a date.
Now over to Sue for her blog and we will be meeting at the Enigma Tap in North Shields at 7.30
Biffy Clyro has a very special place in my relationship with my husband Peter.
We both liked the song Mirror of Horrors before meeting each other. Biffy was the first gig we went to together and it was while watching Biffy on tv at one of the summer music festivals Peter proposed.
It was the album Ellipsis when I heard the song Re-arrange so while Biffy was touring when we went to see them at Newcastle Arena.
So why this particular song Re-arrange?
When I first met Peter, I was up front and honest about my mental health regarding depression and anxiety. In fact I cried on our first date telling him and the fact that due to having PCOS I may never be able to have children.
Heavy for the first date! I know! It was not something I had planned to do but there was a connection that was safe and I felt could be honest, no plastic smiles and masks that would later fall off and be a surprise.
After being 45mins late for our date! Thank you, public transport! We had a nice meal on the quay and then went for a walk. We had our first kiss and then sat near the river. And there it just came tumbling out of my mouth, along with the tears. The tears came from my eyes not my mouth ha ha. When I finished I said to Peter “ I totally understand if you want to leave now”. What happened next I did not expect. Peter sat closer to me and said “End of an old chapter, Beginning of a new one”.
And we have been together ever since. In fact it will be 11 years this year.
The song Re-arrange not only reminds me of our first date but over the years we have helped each other rearrange a lot of things in so many different ways. For me a lot of my rearranging has been to do with my mental health and being diagnosed with PTSD. Along the way Peter has been so encouraging, very patient and loving to help with my healing.
It is the chorus that really speaks to me. It’s never been about breaking each other’s hearts but it has been about rearranging parts to work better.
This led me creating the art shown at the beginning of this blog for Peter’s valentine’s gift in 2017.
Over the years I have listened to this song many times and the chorus has been a reflection of how I see God working in my heart. He’s not been breaking it but rearranging it to work better. Healing so that I am not numb to emotions but slowly healing to allow me to feel emotions again. Addiction has kept me numb to emotions, it has been my coping strategy, but now I am learning to feel emotions again, to not run from the negative emotions and to not hide from the positive ones. I am learning to have my heart rearranged to enable me to allow my heart to be open again and not closed.
Questions:
1 What was the first gig you went to and\or the first gig you and your partner went to?
2 . Are there any lines from the song re-arrange that speak to you? What is it and why?
3. What do you think the song is talking about for you?
4 What are the differences between breaking something and rearranging something? And what might the similarities be?
5 When in your journey of faith, has something needed to be broken and something has needed to be rearranged?
Peace Sue.
Photos by Sue.
